New Mormon Themed Restaurant (funny!)

Rumor has it that there is an idea floating around out there for a chain of non-pretentious Mormon-themed restaurants called The Steak Center (Where There's Never a Dry, Boring Meat-ing!).

Each Steak Center will have one enormous dining area with basketball hoops at either end and folding metal chairs and long tables covered in plastic tablecloths. The Steak Centers will not have hostesses, but greeters. Men in their seventies will meet you at the door and talk like they have known you all your life.

The main menu items will be: Porterhouse Rockwell Steak, Primary Rib and the Poor Wayfaring Pan of Beef, garnished with Parsley P. Pratt Funeral Potatoes. They will also have, when it's in season, Eliza R. Snow crab. And let's not forget a whole line of "And It Came to Pasta", including Kraft MacaMoroni and Cheese.

Additionally, they'll have breakfast items, including Pearls of Great Rice and Frosted Minivans, as well as Adam-ondi-Omelettes. Also available, "In Our Lovely Desserts", including fast sundaes, Gadianton cobbler and the sinful Laman Meringue Pie.

The waiters will be 12- and 13-year-old boys wearing white shirts and their fathers' ties. At the end of the night the customers will be asked to help fold up the chairs and tables and vacuum the floor.

Franchises are selling faster than Sunbeams on Skittles! Get yours while they last!

Too Funny

A man came home from work and found his three children outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn all around the front yard.

The door of his wife's car was open, as was the front door to the house and there was no sign of the dog. Proceeding into the entry, he found an even bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked over, and the throw rug was wadded against one wall.

In the front room the TV was loudly blaring a Cartoon channel, and the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing.

In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the counter, the fridge door was open wide, dog food was spilled on the floor, a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door.

He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife. He was worried she might be ill, or that something serious had happened.

He was met with a small trickle of water as it made its way out the bathroom door. As he peered inside he found wet towels, scummy soap and more toys strewn over the floor. Miles of toilet paper lay in a heap and toothpaste had been smeared over the mirror and walls.

As he rushed to the bedroom, he found his wife still curled up in the bed in her pajamas, reading a novel. She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his day went.

He looked at her bewildered and asked, 'What happened here today?'

She again smiled and answered, 'You know every day when you come home from work and you ask me what in the world do I do all day?'

'Yes,' was his incredulous reply.

She answered, 'Well, today I didn't do it."